by Sight Unseen
Goodbye, April. You really flew by! I have to say this is one my favorite playlists in a long time. It came together effortlessly, I listen to it all the time when I have to concentrate on an hour-long task, and it is mostly comprised of new music to my ears. I am kind of sad to be moving on to May’s playlist, but I’m happy it will live on forever under 04 / 2019.
Listen to it this month on my ongoing playlist project, About An Hour on Spotify.
Every time I want to be minimalist and I swear that this time I’m done with the complex fabrics, loud colors, and patterns that make it hard to get dressed in the morning because it requires a lot of creative effort to mix and match, I see a photo or a collage of Miu Miu wares and I am renewed again.
Creativity and playfulness is the whole point of “personal style,” no? Otherwise we’d all look the same if we subscribe to the same capsule collection of Kam pants and white t-shirts and I guess a lot of easy-to-match black.
I completely subscribe to dressing according to my mood—which sometimes is pitch black, 100% tomboy, and sweatpants—but I can also dress happy! I can be minimalist and colorful. I have an all red outfit now that I would have never even dared to wear a decade ago but love now because of how it makes me feel.
I’ve been so focused on finding and defining in my style after all this time and it’s hilarious that I feel just as lost sometimes as I did back when I started my blog. My body has changed, my weight, my skin, my hair, they’re all again and I’m embracing it.
My job has changed, and my attitude towards many things, people, and places, and things has also changed—like brunch at noon (I get up early now! naturally!), or crowded loud bars ( I cannot hear you and this angers me!), and experiences in my life that have left me a bit jaded and guarded about the trustworthiness of people in general (live and learn, etc.). These changes are all good, and they are boiling away daily at my core until they rise up to the center of my brain and become a concentrated filter where all my decision making happens now. (I’m using a distillery metaphor but I see now this can also be describing a bong. Sigh. I think it’s stronger that way? Whatever, moving on.)
I’ll probably never figure my style out 100% forever. It’s just not possible because it’s everything is always moving. Have my style do’s and don’t’s all written down like some sort of cake recipe would be nice but even that would get boring after a while—because if you know me I manage to fuck up even the simplest of food recipes with my creative impulses to try something different and mix it up.—and I think that’s just okay. As long as it’s a fun process I’m still game to play.
I’ve been a fashion blogger for over a decade. Let that settle in for a minute: I started this in my early twenties and now I am fast approaching my mid-thirties. I started my blog when blogging was this strange hobby that some people took upon themselves to post on the internet. I never propelled to crazy fame like some of the other bloggers (the majority of which I believe have lost their creative way in the shiny land of fame and fortune), and while my own formula for this blog did change over time because It was at some point intoxicating to get attention, comments, likes, and invites to things, I eventually pumped the brakes when I felt I was drifting from my authentic self. I just go too caught up and I frankly did not like the person I was, glued to my phone constantly, playing a game that fed my own anxiety and insecurities. I keep it up now for me; I do this on my free time, and take up my husband’s time (and occasionally my sweet mom) by asking him to take photos of me.
I was an Art Director in advertising back when I started this blog on blogspot. My career was just starting out, I was flat broke, a new college graduate, and at that point aspiring to own lots of pretty things and document my acquiring and wearing those things. I was wrapped up in creating my brand and I was wanting to do so with a mix of high and low, sticking close my roots as someone who was definitely not born with money but worked, clawed, cried, fought, and hustled to make a good living now — by the way, thank you family and mentors! I could not do it alone, ever, never.
Back then I didn’t post to my blog because I thought it would ever bring me press (even though it has!), or job opportunities with famous people and brands (oh boy, that too!), or for the free goods that once came flowing in like a joke (it was insane!). I always posted for me. Even today, I look at some of my past posts and outfits and cringe, but also love so many other posts that show me that in some dark periods where I wasn’t even close to my own biggest fan (too busy comparing myself to others) I found in hindsight that I am not bad at all. That what I have right here is a living breathing autobiography of me to date. Yes, it’s got a superficial wrapper of consumerism around it, but I still firmly believe you can be frivolous and substantial at the same time. My posts are also interwoven with stories of my life—the deep seeded stuff at the center of me and my brain that shape the fluffy top decisions—and I’ve shared select stories openly in the hopes of connecting with someone going through the same good, bad, ugly, or the nothing.
I keep this up now because I want to document myself for my own vanity I guess, too. But it’d be remiss if I didn’t admit that this decade long focus on a creative activity is ultimately good for me as a designer, an artist, and a professional in the creative industry. Because I know my point of view as a creative and that only came with time and growing my confidence by sharing my thoughts openly with everyone.
So a decade later my formula hasn’t really changed much; I will wear my own clothes, that I bought with my hard owned money, and I will be honest and open when something happens to be free or I make a mistake. I’ll also share stories too, because the most rewarding aspect of this project has been the interaction with people relating to me over time. You, the person who is spending your free time reading this, is too without an agenda. And I think it’s pretty wild for me to find an audience of strangers that ultimately cares about reading about me, a person with shared interests, and can also relate to the silly mistakes in the pursuit of my stylish life.
Acne Studios top, skirt
Saint Laurent sunglasses
How is March over?
I started my job; that came and went fast. I have a new routine and new people in my life and I’m trying to figure out how time went so damn fast.
Here’s what I’ve been listening to this month: About and Hour March 2019
I have been doing this moodboard and playlist deal for about 4 years now. So if you ever want to listen to any of those other playlists follow me (twelveofour) on Spotify and check out my public playlists.